20 February 2014

Kettle jokes

Tuesday night the twitter feeds of Orient fans were saturated with jokes about the referee in charge of Orient v Stevenage. Today there really isn’t a single Kettle joke left untold. Not one.

Anyway, Nigel Miller, Andy D’Orsu, and Trevor Kettle walk into a bar in Wales. Just as they’re about to sit down Sean Thornton speak out from his place at the end. Hey! You lot - f***off! And they did. Safe in the knowledge that the amount of untold Kettle jokes in the world really is zero!

If you look up Stevenage on Swedish Wikipedia the full entry reads “Stevenage is a town and a district in Hertfordshire in England with about 79,400 inhabitants. It is situated between Letchworth Garden City in the north and Welwyn Garden City in the south. The town’s football team is Stevenage Borough FC who play in League One. Formula One-driver Lewis Hamilton was born in Stevenage”.

Since I visited Stevenage in August I should be in a position to add to that article. But except for that Kevin Lisbie header the only thing that pops into my head are Cheesy Chips. Adding a few lines to Wikipedia about the Cheesy Chip Scandal of 2013 could maybe cause an influx of Swedish visitors as long as they do not realise we’re talking the British version of Skärholmen. A Stockholm suburb who in a desperate attempt to be more international decided to drop all vowels from their name, calling themselves SKHLM.

As for the game it was all Orient. Moses getting things off to a great start and Dagnall creating that comfortable two goal cushion. Just how you want a home game against the bottom team to work out. One-sided, smooth and unproblematic.

Soon after 2-0 I got a text from a colleague at work. Problems! So as the half drew to a close, and Jimmy Smith had that shot on goal, I listened to the game while debugging and looking for a corrupt database record.

The guy who texted me, Magnus, has actually been to Brisbane Road. Once in London to see some PL-game he needed something to do on the Saturday. I suggested Orient who at the time was to entertain Notts County in the FA-Cup. Initially he was really impressed with one Orient player. Speedy with what looked like bags of technical ability. How come this guy didn’t play at a higher level? It was revealed the moment he chased a through ball, dummied two defenders and then sliced his finish well wide. The player's name? Jabo!

A wonderful player perhaps somewhat lacking in clinicality. The one ability Stevenage manager Graham Westley brought up time and again in his post-match interview. If only his players had been more clinical the game would have ended otherwise. Well Graham you really got the tactics spot on, the formation, and the substitutions. Especially the subs made a LOT of sense.

Personally I’m really grateful that Orient isn’t a club with a track record of signing strikers lacking in clinicality. I mean using the short horizon of the recent years in League One, not a single name comes to mind. Look I’m really trying here. Help me out people. Orient strikers since 2006 lacking clinicality. No, noo, nooope, drawing a total blank. Never happened!

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