12 February 2014

Feeling Biblical

If someone made me a God today. I would be an Old Testament kind of God. Vengeful, all fire and brimstone. My target audience numbering one. The Scapegoat!

Orient up against a team with one away win all season. Elliot Omozusi injured, Gary Sawyer in at left back. Lloyd James benched, Marvin Bartley starting in the center of midfield. Up front Kevin Lisbie and Chris Dagnall. Not really match fit David Mooney on the bench.

But this text isn't about any of those players. Possibly Sawyer who didn't impress right before Bristol City's first goal after three minutes. Perhaps Bartley who didn't show why he should be picked before James as a normal course of events. No, this rant has another target in mind.

A goalkeeper should possess many abilities. Few excel at everything. Most have at least one embarrassing trait up their sleeve. Good shot-stopper, saves a lot of penalties, dodgy kicking, being weak in the air. There is one thing though, that is essential to any goalkeeper. You have got to inspire confidence in your fellow defenders. When you shout for the ball you have to do your thing. Pluck it out of the air, punch it away, kick it! Whatever - do it. End of discussion.

Shwan Jalal, you are Orient's fifth goalkeeper this season. You are not a Jamie Jones, definitely worse than Eldin Jakupovic, hardly outshine Ben Alnwick, and Jake Larkins is a giant in the area compared to you.

Against Peterborough, in your Orient debut, you were responsible for one of the goals. Today, after the Bristol City game your collected goal debt is 3.5. It was that bad. Perhaps the rest of the Orient team should share some of the blame for being 0-2 down with less than fifteen minutes played. But we're talking Old Testament here. No collective debt. It's   all   your   fault. Having a first name that mean shepherd doesn't help things. Herding goats might be the job for you. You are as a matter of fact the ultimate scapegoat. Two games in Orient colours. No more dear God (Jesus, I'm talking to myself here).

It didn't help that Orient reduced the deficit to one goal when Lisbie pounced just before half time. Orient dominating the initial stages of the second half really counted for nothing. All those corners and half chances. Jalal you made sure the opponents had that comfortable two goal cushion back by going for a ball and completely miss it - again.

If the Devil is any sort of friend he must act now. For the prize of a Russell Slade soul we should at least get Jakupovic on loan for the rest of the season and Jamie Jones' back miraculously healed.

It ended 3-1 to Bristol City. It was all your fault Shwan. The scapegoat! And I said this in the nicest way possible.

Swedish original (at least the text I started with)

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