Similes and Metaphors

No blogger of things Orient sit down to write without having a Simile/Metaphor Machine handy. I just bought mine from IKEA. Assembly went well I think. Just a few nuts and bolts left over when I was done. Changing the language settings was harder. I have it in demo mode at the moment.

A simile is where two things are directly compared because they share a common feature. The word as or like is used to compare the two words. Eg. As bald as an Orient manager

A metaphor also compare two things, but it does so more directly without using as or like. Eg. The place had a feel of Southend about it.

Well that wasn't too difficult. Guess I'll just skip the rest of the instructions and try my hand at the examples.

Task 1.

Copy these sentences into your blog/twitter/facebook entry. At the end of each sentence, write in brackets whether the sentence is an example of a metaphor or a simile.

1. As slippery as Boris Johnson (simile)
2. Romain was a lion in battle (metaphor)
3. The striker Michael Symes was a goal machine (a lying metaphor?)
4. Big Sam has a face like a bag of spanners (simile)

Phew! This is hard work. Puts a new perspective on places like View from the West Stand that are like built from this stuff. Moving on, just one task left.

Task 2.

Now make up similes of your own by copying and finishing these sentences.

1. As heavy as
2. As hard as
3. His beard was like
4. As cool as
5. As quick as
6. He was slow like a
7. Slippery like a

OK here goes! Let's see what the machine can come up with because I'm stumped!

1. As heavy as Dearden
2. As hard as Clarke
3. His beard was like Vincelot's
4. As cool as an Orient penalty taker
5. As quick as Moses
6. He was slow like a Parkin/Scowcroft love child
7. Slippery like a West Ham director

Pretty good! Number four feel a bit dodgy but what can you expect for 89 kronor? I'll just put my faith in this piece of Swedish technology, made in China, and packaged in Romania. So look out all you other Orient bloggers. I have a machine and I'm not afraid to use it! In fact I'll just keep it running until the Bristol City game. No choice really, since the on/off switch just broke off in my hand.